Apocalypse cow script
They will actually be competing to rescue humanity. Sarcastic Narrator: We don’t have to worry about “the world ending” due to climate problems because there are so many very extremely likely scenarios that will absolutely save us. Guaranteed Solutions to halt Climate Catastrophe (audience votes on scenarios depicted in slides) Into a giant ice skating rink for polar bears Greta, Renee and a penguin herd move in and party
With a fort around it to keep the 74 glaciers inside Until One Billion little girls start screaming,īut a penguin named Renee swims 12,000 miles,ĭodging tiger sharks, to chirp her the news Wonder Woman is under-dressed - she layers up like a marshmallow & is blown away Thor throws his hammer, he loses it and cries Hulk pushes at the glacier, he shivers, turns pink and quitsĪquaman throws waves at the glacier, fish stick to the front and scold him “Call the Super Heroes!” say the scientists They bomb Antarctica and make everything worse They hide in underground bunkers with whisky & pedophiles “There’s nothing we can do!” say the politicians “There’s nothing we can do!” say the billionaires. My babies are veal, now it’s your turn to squeal Grand Total: 130 billion pounds of manure dropping daily My four stomachs turn this into flammable gasġ.3 billion cattle on Earth pooping every 20 minutes I am the steer who guides your extinction I am the Taurus that clear cut the Amazon